Why Do Married Men Cheat?

Married men cheat for many reasons, often stemming from unmet emotional or sexual needs, seeking validation for insecurities, boredom, lack of connection, or some marital issues like poor communication, but sometimes it’s about personal thrill-seeking, low self-esteem, narcissism, or a desire for novelty, with factors like childhood trauma or a sense of entitlement also playing roles. It’s rarely just one thing, often a mix of personal shortcomings and relationship problems, with some men even cheating while still loving their wives.

While in the early stages, marriages can seem like a holy bond, they often do not always end up like that. Men and women both cheat, but understanding the psychology behind their infidelity is necessary as well. No one starts cheating as an experiment.

This is anything but a recent development. Infidelity in marriages has been a thing for ages. However, while back in the day, it was generalised and rationalised, that is not the case anymore. People have woken up to it and are taking a stand for themselves. Read this to learn more about why men cheat and how to deal with that.

Where It Starts

In more cases than not, you will see, they either have emotional baggage from their past relationships, or it is something that ‘ just happened’. Firstly, you need to get the idea of how every marriage is a happy marriage out of your head. It is not always like that.

For some couples, even if they seem happy on the outside, they might be dealing with their own internal demons. While for women, it is more about emotional availability and maturity, men’s reasons are more about physical attraction.

Is Cheating Justified?

This is not an easy question to answer. While most people do not want anything to do with the relationship after their partner has cheated, it varies. According to most marriage counselling professionals, both parties involved should consider working through it rather than going their separate ways. However, this is only true if you see your significant other making efforts to change.

They say this can be a pattern they follow unconsciously, and can eventually be changed. It is only considered healthy if the person who cheated is aware of their mistake and is taking steps to avoid it in the future.

The Psychology of Men Who Cheat

According to marriage counselling surveys, it has been seen that men have a higher percentage of cheating. As psychologists say, it is because of a deep-rooted past memory. You will notice that in the old times, kings and high-ranking officials often got married more than once. This thought process is still imbibed in a man. The pattern has not yet broken itself.

On the other hand, when it comes to women, the situation is different. Tyically women lookat men as a provider. When the man they are with can satisfy all her needs and provide for her, they tend to stick to them. This is also why when women start earning and can provide for themselves, they tend not need a man in their lives. This is a very important thing to understand before you learn why men cheat.

 What To Do After You Find Out?

Firstly, finding out that your husband is cheating on you can be quite distressing. This is usually the time when bad and harmful thoughts might surface in your mind. It is advised that you do not give in to those and instead seek help. One of the best ways to do so is through relationship counselling.

Typically, people have the wrong idea of couples therapy, especially because of how it’s shown in common media. You do not have to sit with your husband and go through it together. It starts out with individual sessions where you work on yourself, about how you feel, and how to deal with those feelings.

How Does It Work?

Both parties involved are called in, and the case history is reported, along with their psychometric assessment. The test includes a metric for emotional compatibility, behavioural tendencies, and anger issues, and any other mental health issues one might be facing. With that done, the parties are individually called in for therapy.

This stage mainly involves knowing each party better and what makes them choose infidelity as a way out. Here, relationship counselling therapists like Dr. Pankaja figure out the personal needs of the individual and their emotional state.

Many studies show that there are couples who like the idea of marriage, but are not happy with each other, while the opposite is also true. After all this is figured out, the couples are called in together at the last stage, after 7 to 8 individual therapy sessions, once each person involved has already dealt with their problems.

This is when a final conclusion is drawn about what can be done. Whether the person is ready to change their pattern, if the woman is ready to forgive and move on, or if they want to go their separate ways. How the individual therapy helps in this stage is understanding what each person wants from the relationship.

What You Should Do for Yourself

The best way to ensure that you are dealing with this distressful time the right way is to ensure you are taking care of yourself. Eating the right meals, not falling weak to addictions, understanding what is going on in your mind, and solving it are all important. To help with that, you can obviously visit the best psychologist in India, but things like affirmations can also help.

Write down your goals on a piece of paper, in the present tense. This will include your relationship, health, career, and money. After writing it, visualise it and then manifest it. The more you can visualise it, the better.   First, you need to feel what you want, and then comes thought. Once you have started thinking this is true, believe in it and then plan your action accordingly.

All in all, couples therapy is becoming more and more common and quite deservedly so. If you think you are facing hiccups in your marriage that can be solved, do not delay your appointment with the best psychologist in India.

About Author

A relationship wellness writer, the author here explores topics around emotional growth, marriage counselling, and partnership wellness. The goal was to simplify complex concepts into simple and practical advice and allow couples to build empathy and healthier relationships. With a focus on real-world perspectives and research, it helps you curate sustainable habits for relationship success in the long term.

FAQ’s

• Can Travelling Help With My Therapy?

People often say that travelling, or eating, can feel therapeutic to them. This is not true. While it will give you a dopamine spike and help your mood, it, however, does not help with the underlying problem or break the pattern.

• Will One Therapy Session Fix Everything?

It is a common belief that one therapy session can solve all your problems. This is again a myth. A psychologist does not start understanding you or your root problem until the fourth session. So at least three months are required to truly work on it.

• How To Choose The Right Therapist?

The best way to go about this is through online reviews and testimonials. However, once you have your session with them, check to see if you are comfortable talking to them, and after sometime if the sessions are helping you with your problems.

• What Is The End Goal of Couples Therapy?

A good therapy session will help lessen fights, discord and conflict. It will help you build a place where you feel safe, secure and loving.

• How Long Do These Sessions Last?

While each psychologist has a different way of working, the sessions typically last for about 50 minutes. However, with prior notice, or in special cases, this session can go longer.

• Is Relationship Counselling Effective?

In short, yes, it is highly effective. Studies show that marriage counselling has helped more than 90% of the couples who sought help.